Perennial Love
by rukiayuzu
Summary: On her way home from work, Shizune stumbles across a wounded Kabuto and against her better judgement, decides to save him in secrecy but will her decision come back to haunt her? KabuXShizu
1. Chapter One: Unforseeable Compassion

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…

Perennial Love

Chapter One: Unforeseeable Compassion

Shizune:

Looking up from her paperwork, Tsunade shot me a dirty look and I rolled my eyes, half-heartedly twirling a piece of my black hair around my fingertip. Spotting Tonton, my pet pig that I shared with Tsunade, I scooped her up, cradling her in my arms, my dark eyes gazing down lovingly. Tsunade turned her face away, muttering something obscene under her breath and I smiled fondly at the older woman.

The paperwork pile had gotten ridiculously high and being the responsible one, I had forced Tsunade to cooperate.

"Be reasonable Lady Tsunade." I had argued, desperate for her surrender.

"You are the Hokage and signing, organizing and filling out the paperwork is part of your job. I just want you to become the best Hokage you can."

Rather proud of my encouraging mini-pep talk, I gave Tsunade my kindest smile and after meeting my eyes with a deathly glare, she had not spoken to me since. Although, as annoyed as she was, she knew I was right, but more importantly, she also knew that I was only looking out for her best interest.

It had always been like that. For as long as I could remember or as long as I wanted to remember, Tsunade and I had taken care of each other. Sure, maybe she was a risk-taking powerful blonde bombshell and maybe I was a laid-back, level-headed young woman, but we shared a friendship that was deeper than most and I couldn't imagine a time without her. As long as Tsunade would let me stay by her side, I would follow her to the ends of the earth and that was a fact.

"Shizune." Tsunade said, speaking for the first time in almost an hour.

"Don't you have anything else you should be doing?" She asked, her voice straining to keep a civilized tone.

"I don't think so, Lady Tsunade." I said, thinking hastily.

By now, I was used to her attempts at making me leave. It was a sort of game that we played together and every so often, she would win. We both knew she could send me out whenever she wanted to, but she never did. Tsunade was the type of person who enjoyed a good challenge and above all else, she played to win. If she was victorious, I would leave in defeat and she would drink from the hidden bottle of sake in her desk that Tonton and I pretended not to know about.

"As long as I don't give her a reason to send me out, I'll win." I said to myself smugly.

Tsunade looked up at me, her amber eyes gleaming and a sudden wave of panic washed over me.

"Nothing at all? Why that's perfect." She smiled, her teeth shining and I shivered despite myself.

"Why is she confident? I wasn't expecting that." I thought nervously, unsure of what to do.

"Well if that's the case, Shizune, why don't you take the rest of today off." Tsunade suggested innocently and I couldn't help but gasp in realization.

I had been tricked and utterly fooled by the Fifth Hokage.

"I…I'm perfectly fine, Tsunade, but thank you." I stammered, avoiding her confident gaze but by now, we both knew that she had won.

"Shizune, please, I am the Hokage, I can take care myself, unless you are suggesting that I am incapable…" She trailed off with a look of false hurt in her eyes and I still couldn't believe what was happening.

"Of course not Lady Tsu-"

"Well then, off you go. I'll see you tomorrow Shizune." She interrupted with a grin and before I had the chance to speak, I was pushed out of the office with nothing left but a squirming pig.

Still in shock, I let Tonton go and she scurried off down the hallway without a second glance as if on some important mission that I wouldn't understand and I supposed, she probably was.

"Well, that's that, I guess." I mumbled to myself in a discouraged tone and through the door, I heard the popping sound of a bottle of sake being opened.

"She sure doesn't waste time." I thought, biting my lip in worry.

Stretching my arms above my head, I began to walk down the long corridor, my eyes searching for the familiar door that led outside. Passing Genma in the hallway, he smiled as handsomely as he could and I sighed, turning my face in the other direction.

Recently, I had been the center of attention in almost all the eyes of the young men in Konoha, but I was far from happy.

One of the many annoying things Tsunade loved to talk about was my appearance. Somehow she seemed bent on making me recognize my so-called beauty but I just didn't see it. Our views of my appearance was very different and we were both as usual, convinced the other was wrong.

My hair was by no means beautiful. I kept it knot-free but that was about it. Other that that, it was shoulder-length and a boring black in colour. My eyes, dark as the night itself and my skin tone was the exact opposite. Tsunade described it as being porcelain-like, but I thought I just always looked sickly pale. Sure, I was thin and I wasn't lacking in the chest department, but besides that I was completely convinced that I was a very dull-looking person and to be honest, I couldn't care less.

Beauty didn't mean much to me and that wasn't about to change. I wasn't interested in Kotatsu or Genma or any of the other men, I just wanted to be left alone and I figured they would eventually give up and respect my wishes, though it wouldn't be anytime soon.

Tsunade had once asked me why I didn't care, why I somehow seemed content to just live out my life and die alone, but I never did give her a straight answer. Of course, people had their own assumptions about me and rumours floated around. Some people thought I was afraid of rejection, while others claimed that I just simply didn't have the time but I knew it was deeper than that.

The real reason was that I was afraid of loving someone too much, only to have them torn from me by the greedy hands of death. The fear being so strong, I resolved to be alone, but it wasn't really a huge shocker that I felt this way. After all, I knew the story between Tsunade and my own uncle, Dan, the love of her life.

They met and had instantly clicked together like two sides of a locket. With similar opinions and wanting nothing but the best for the village, they were perfect for each other, and then the unexpected happened. Dan died. He was mortally wounded on a mission and although Tsunade had put her soul into trying to save him and would have gladly given her own life for his, he had died.

Now, because of his death, her suffering would never end. She could dream of him every night, but no matter how much she yearned for it, she would never see him again and that was the truth. It tore me apart to see her around the anniversary of his death and if anything like that ever happened to me, I knew I wouldn't be able to stand it, like she bravely did.

So, I had vowed to give my heart to nobody and I was positive that I would have no trouble at all.

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Kabuto:

Gently, I rested my bloodstained hand on my aching ribs, that I knew had to be broken and I started to run. Running blindly was not something I was used to and neither was the overwhelming pain, as I usually won all my battles with complete ease, but I could handle it, I had to handle it.

Getting back to Orochimaru was more important pain, it had always been like that, but I didn't mind too much. He had to know that I had been targeted because anything that had to do with me, had to do with him. I was his right-hand man after all and I had to work hard to keep that position.

Although I was well aware that not only was Orochimaru evil, he was cruel and manipulative, but we shared a mutual bond and I planned to stay by his side forever. He was, in a way, like a father figure to me, although that may have been stretching it. Still we trusted each other and I had to warn him.

The ninja that had ambushed me were dead and if I didn't return soon, I, Kabuto Yakushi, would quickly join them. I would have liked to have stopped and healed myself, which probably would have made things a lot easier, but my chakra was almost completely drained and I could sense my vision was starting to fade.

"This is bad, I have to get back." I thought to myself desperately and the pain spread throughout my whole body, forcing me to slow to a fast walk.

"At the very least, I have to get away from Konoha, I'm getting way too close." I said quietly, urging my beaten body forward.

The attack had happened so quickly. One minute I was walking with ease and the next, I was dodging kunais.

"I'm such an idiot for letting my guard down like that." I cursed at my own foolishness.

For a while, I had held my own and then some but there were just too many of them and my chakra level was already low, having just returned from a mission Orochimaru had sent me on. It had been planned almost perfectly, as if they had been watching me for some time and they had all seemed to be around jounin level. Who they were, I didn't know, but I could tell by their outfits, that they weren't from Suna or Konoha. It was a miracle, I had won and I hadn't won by much.

"I have to keep going, there's no way I'm letting that Uchiha brat take over my position, I don't care how strong he's gotten, I can't give up." I thought, stopping to lean my battered hand on a giant oak, my breath coming in great gasps and I felt a stream of blood trickle down my chin.

"I have to keep…" I trailed off, feeling my knees collapse from under me and everything went black.

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Shizune:

I stopped at the edge of the forest, trying to calm my breathing. The forest had always seemed large, dark and something to be feared, but usually once I was inside, I really enjoyed my walks. It was peaceful and calming and more than anything, I felt that I had escaped the stress that was my life. It was refreshing.

With one last deep breath, I started into the leafy forest and as usual I found myself content with my route.

"At least, it's only the late afternoon and is isn't dark." I said aloud, optimistically and I tried to smile.

Walking in silence, even my mind seemed to shut off and my thoughts were muffled by the steady sounds of my own footsteps. I was so immersed in the rhythm of my own beat that I almost missed it.

Backing up slightly, I could see a shoe sticking up over a huge oak tree root and I saw something move just behind it. As usual, my curiosity got the better of me and instead of just continuing on, I decided to investigate. Cautiously, I crept over to it, my gray kimono catching on sharp twigs and I gasped in utter shock. It took me less than a second to recognize the owner of the shoe, as I looked up his leg to his face and for a minute I thought I was hallucinating.

His body was so badly beaten up, that besides his face, there wasn't a spot on him that wasn't covered in blood, dirt or a mixture of the two. His silver-tinted hair was undone out of its usual ponytail and it was strewn across the forest floor and his bruised face.

I knelt down next to him and removed his cracked glasses. His expression was calm and serene as if he couldn't feel anything couldn't feel anything, couldn't feel the pain but I knew that was impossible. The infuriating smirk that always seemed to accompany him, was nowhere to be found and I never before felt the way I did at the exact moment.

"Kabuto." I whispered, my voice thick with pity, as I brushed some loose, silver hair away from his eyes.

Shaking my head quickly, I turned away from the bruised, young man.

"No, this is wrong. I can't help him, I should leave him here to die, he is nothing to me. He is a puppet of the enemy and to die here in pain, is what he deserves." I said firmly, but I still wasn't completely convinced and I looked back at him, biting my bottom lip in worry.

Balling my hands up into tight fists, I rose and started to swiftly walk away.

"This is no concern of mine." I said aloud, trying to forget his innocent look, but my mind wouldn't let me and I stopped, not yet twenty yards away.

"I shouldn't be doing this…I shouldn't be considering…" Trailing off, I turned around and with a quick impulsive decision, jogged back to Kabuto.

Picking up his dirty glasses off the forest floor, I slipped them into my kimono sleeve pocket and sighed heavily.

"Nobody must ever find out." I muttered and I carefully slung the suffering young man over my shoulder.

"I don't know why I'm doing this…for him of all people, I just don't know." I thought, shaking my head and I laughed aloud in the foolishness of it all.

Being a person with logical thoughts, impulse was not something I operated on, and to be exercising it with the enemy was unthinkable.

On my back, Kabuto groaned in pain and my unexplainable sympathy for him rose, forming a lump in the back of my throat, making it hard to breathe.

For once in my life, I was glad I lived so close to the forest, my own balcony overlooked it, I was as close as I could get. This would make getting him inside my apartment a lot easier and I was grateful.

Slowing down to a walk, I approached the fair-sized building from the back and I faintly heard the chatter of people outside the front door.

"Why do people have to hang outside an apartment?" I asked myself, irritated.

Quickly realizing there was no other way, I tightened my grip on Kabuto and stared up, jumping from balcony to balcony.

"Thank goodness I keep my balcony door unlocked but why do I have to live on the top floor?" I groaned and I could barely contain my fear of being discovered.

I could just imagine Tsunade's betrayed face and I swallowed hard. The last thing I ever wanted to do was disappoint Tsunade but I knew, that if I was caught that was exactly what I'd do.

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Kabuto:

A cool breeze blew through my silver hair and I could barely open my eyes, as the pain was too intense.

I realized I had been saved, wincing through the ongoing stream of agony. Orochimaru was the first name that crossed my mind but I quickly discarded it.

"There was no way he could have known, I haven't been out for too long because I can tell it isn't dark and there's no way I would have lived through the night. Who would save me of all people?" I asked myself, deep in thought.

I could tell it was a woman who was carrying me, my face resting against the soft fabric, covering her back.

"I'm getting blood on her." I thought guiltily and I wondered why I would care about something as stupid as that.

She smelt nice and stargazer lilies were the first thing to come to mind.

"Lilies." I thought, trying to smile.

"Those beautiful flowers that last forever."

Thinking hard, I tried to remember what the word for it was.

"Perennial." I mumbled and I felt the woman's face turn to look at me over her shoulder.

Before I could think anything else, I felt myself start to slip out of consciousness again and I didn't fight it. I inhaled deeply, letting the wonderful fragrance fall over me and I knew full well that my life rested in the hands of the sweet smelling lady.

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Shizune:

After much banging around in the living room, in am unsuccessful attempt to keep quiet, I carefully placed Kabuto on my bed, his head resting on the first pillow I found. Taking off his dark vest, I left his thin, white shirt on and gathering my chakra in the palms of my hands, I focused everything I had into saving his life.

Why? I didn't know, but something deep inside of me told me it was the right thing to do.

"How could this be happening? I'm the sensible one, I always have been." I asked myself quietly, but I didn't think about it to much, fearing the swell of pity that I couldn't understand.

I didn't break once and beads of sweat gathered on my forehead as I worked.

"What happened to him?" I wondered curiously and I decided I would ask him when he came to, after all, I deserved to know.

It felt like days had passes before I finally stopped, but in reality it had only been hours, long hours nonetheless. I was lucky, or more, he was lucky, it looked like he was going to live, but he was far from ok.

Nearly all his ribs had been broken, as well as a broken arm and other equally nasty injuries. Still, even with my healing, he would be confined to his bed, or, my bed for at least two weeks and that was at the very least.

"Those are going to be very long weeks." I thought drearily, but I knew it was my own fault.

Walking out of my bedroom, I reached the kitchen and I quickly wet a blue washcloth to clean his face.

"At least, he looks a little more like Kabuto and a little less like a neglected doll." I said under my breath and as silly as it sounded, that was exactly what he had looked like.

Making my way through my living room, into my bedroom, I sat down beside Kabuto and softly, I began wiping the dirt off his face.

"You're very lucky, Kabuto, I don't know what I was thinking, I still don't." I whispered to him even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

When his face looked a little more decent, I stopped and realized how much chakra I had used. Utterly exhausted, I collapsed beside him and I wondered in slight amusement, what he would think when he finally awoke to see my face lying peacefully next to his.

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**Author's note:**

This was an experiment, to see if I could actually write about my favourite pairing and I like how it turned out. I know this is a little far-fetched, but I tried...


	2. Chapter Two: Raw Irritation

Disclaimer: sigh Nooo, I don't own Naruto…

Perennial Love

Chapter Two: Raw Irritation

Kabuto:

All I remembered was the pain. The agony and the suffering, yet I felt only a numbing, tingling sensation. Had I really been saved? My dark eyes opened cautiously, as if afraid of waking up from a dream and discovering I was still in the forest, feeling the full wraith of my wounds.

"Where am I?" I grumbled, confused and more than a little irritated.

My vest was gone and I saw that my wounds had been healed and bandaged. I observed my surroundings suspiciously, my survival instincts suddenly springing to life. The walls were a light blue and it was a bedroom. Simple, but I could tell it was a woman who resided here. Suddenly, the memory of being carried flooded back to me and it only added to my confusion. Glancing down at the comfortable bed I was in, I nearly jumped in surprise.

"Who…?" I trailed off slowly, my breath catching in my throat.

The person who had saved my life, the person who was no doubt, a resident of Konoha and the person whom I regarded as an enemy, lay sleeping soundly beside me, without a care in the world.

"Shizune." I whispered, barely able to speak from the utter shock of it all.

Only then, did I realize my glasses had been removed and I couldn't help but laugh aloud at the craziness of it all.

"Why would she do this? What could possibly move her to do such a thing? This has to be a trap" I realized and I glanced around again.

Looking back down at her sleeping form, I shook my head. Her breathing was soft and her black hair was tucked neatly behind one ear. Not only was she here beside me, she was completely unprotected. If I wanted to, I could kill her and she wouldn't even have time to react. Sitting up quickly, I let out a grunt of pain, the familiar agony flooding back and Shizune sat up, rubbing her eyes. As soon as she saw me upright, her sleepy expression vanished and her face became serious.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to cause more internal bleeding?" She cried and I was forced back down.

Grabbing her wrist, I pulled her down with me and she yelled out in surprise.

"Let go of me." She said furiously, her nose less than two inches from my own and I gripped her wrist tighter.

"What's going on? Where is Tsunade and how long have I been here?" I fired questions at her in a demanding tone and she winced in pain.

"She doesn't know about anything." Shizune almost shouted, ripping her wrist away from me and my eyes widened in surprise.

"What?" I managed to stammer and Shizune avoided my heavy glance.

"She doesn't know, I…I don't why I even bothered." She muttered and I still didn't comprehend the situation completely.

"Why? Why did y-"

"I don't know." Shizune interrupted and her face was red with anger.

"I saw you lying there and I couldn't just walk away." She yelled, tears were starting to form in her eyes and I swallowed hard, at a loss of words.

Millions of thoughts were running through my head and for once in my life, I didn't have a plan, I had no idea of what to do. On one hand, she had sacrificed her position to save my life and I owed her more than I could ever imagine. On the other hand, she was the enemy and no matter the circumstances, I had always been taught to demonstrate force. Then, there was the issue of trust, could I even believe her?

"You have to trust me, I know it's hard, but you have to." She whispered in a desperate voice, as if reading my thoughts and at that moment, I could tell that saving me had been an impulsive decision.

She wasn't prepared in the least and she was starting to panic.

"I…don't know what to say." I whispered quietly.

Shizune looked away, as if contemplating something in her mind, but she spoke only a few seconds later.

"I know Kabuto, but you don't have a choice anymore. I could leave and tell Tsunade right now and we'd be here with the Anbu squad before you could even sit up. I don't know why I saved you. This feeling came over me and I knew I…I had to do something. Please, you need to trust me." She said through gritted teeth and I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come.

"Can you do that?" She asked, staring me down and I frowned, shaking my head.

"How can I? How can I believe a word of what you say? That Hokage could be in the kitchen right now and I wouldn't know. You could be lying through your teeth and I would have no idea." I yelled in an angry voice, but she didn't appear to be shaken in the least.

"I could be, but like I said, you don't have a choice." She shrugged and I scowled at her.

"Fine." I muttered, feeling that there really was nothing else I could say and my scowl stayed right where it was.

"Thank you." Shizune smiled, something she had never done in my presence before and the scent hit me hard.

"Lilies." I whispered and I realized it had to have been her who had carried me here. Her lovely smell of stargazer lilies.

Giving me a funny look, Shizune appeared as though I had said something incredibly outrageous or inappropriate.

"It's nothing." I murmured and she shrugged, her pretty eyes never leaving mine.

A look of remembrance flashed across her face and she pulled out my glasses from her kimono sleeve.

"You need these, don't you?" She asked curiously and I snatched the broken glasses from her outstretched hand.

"Not really, I can see pretty well without them." I said quietly, avoiding eye contact and she nodded in understanding.

Reaching out her hands towards me, it was my turn to give her a funny look.

"You are covered in blood and dirt, you need a shower." She explained and I figured she was probably right.

Nonetheless, I still felt the need to rebel, my broken pride attempting to heal itself. Shoving her hands away, I gave her a dirty look.

"I don't need your help." I muttered and I tried to stand up.

Pain blinded me momentarily and I stumbled almost falling and I would have too, if it hadn't been for Shizune, who caught my around the waist.

"Apparently, you do." She smirked and although I was unhappy about her smugness, I reluctantly allowed her to help me to the bathroom.

--

Somehow, after much effort, I managed to have a shower without passing out or needing any assistance from Shizune and I was especially grateful for the latter. Shizune had lent me baggy pyjama bottoms that were much too huge for her and a plain, big, blue t-shirt. Inside, I admitted that having a shower and a change of clothes had been a great idea, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything to Shizune.

I hated the way she was so calm and how she kept treating me like we were old friends. We weren't, it was as simple as that. We weren't even neutral, we were enemies and I struggled to keep my temper.

Emerging from the bathroom, Shizune was at my side in an instant and I felt my mouth twitch in annoyance.

"Are you alright?" She asked sincerely and I ignored her efforts at kindness.

When I was back in bed, she sat beside me in her gray kimono and we stared at each other in silence for a while. I was trying to send out vibes that I didn't want her around and either she wasn't getting them or she didn't care. Knowing her, it was most likely the latter, and that only succeeded in making me angrier. Finally, she broke the heavy silence with a sigh.

"I have to go, Tsunade's expecting me and if I don't go, it will attract attention. Don't even try to run." She warned in a serious tone and I wondered how she knew that I was considering it.

Leaving the room with a flourish of her kimono sleeve, I heard banging around in the kitchen and she re-entered the room with a boxed lunch and a glass of water. Seeing the food that she laid in front of me, I realized how hungry I really was and at that moment, I didn't care if she had poisoned it or not.

"Thank you." I grumbled, looking her in the eye and she smiled half-heartedly at me.

"I'll be back in a couple hours. Like I said, if you try to leave, you won't make it far with your injuries and you'll attract unwanted attention. So, I would advise you to stay put." She said calmly and I nodded, my mouth full of rice.

Waving goodbye to me, she left and despite wanting her to leave a few minutes ago, I couldn't help but be a little disappointed she was gone.

--

Shizune:

As soon as the door to my apartment had closed behind me, I buried my face in my hands and the tears that had been threatening to spill all morning, finally came.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered to no one and the tears wouldn't stop.

Not only was Kabuto confused, he was upset and angry.

"He hates me, even after what I've done. How am I going to take care of him, when he won't cooperate?" I asked myself and I hated the unfamiliar feeling of being overwhelmed.

Wiping away my tears with the back of my hand, I started on my way to Tsunade's building, taking the long route through the village and avoiding the forest all together.

"He doesn't want my help, but I can't give up on him. He has nowhere to go and he'll die without a bed and medical attention." I told myself and I knew I wouldn't be able to stand the guilt if I did, in fact abandon him.

"Why do you care? And honestly, what did you expect? Did you think he would smile and thank you for your generosity?" A voice rose up inside of me and I shrugged it away, already knowing.

Still, I was proud of myself, I had held myself together and had been amazingly convincing that I was angry with him, when in reality, I had felt like breaking down and crying.

"Maybe things will be different when I get home." I thought optimistically, but inside I knew that was almost impossible.

Reaching the Hokage's building, I began my long climb up the winding stairs. Still out of breath from the stairs, I walked down the hallway, spotting Genma coming towards me and I cursed silently.

"Great." I muttered under my breath and I hoped he wouldn't see me.

Surprising enough, he did.

"The lovely Shizune, good morning." He greeted loudly, stopping me in the middle of the hallway and I smiled weakly.

Without a moments delay, he began to berate me with pointless questions. Such as; How was I? What was I up to? Was Tsunade treating me nicely? And I answered his questions with as few words as possible, wanting nothing more than to leave.

"Oh Shizune, I almost forgot would you care to join me fo-"

"Genma, I'm sorry, Tsunade's expecting me and although I'd love to stay and chat, I must value Tsunade's request. It's great to see you, it really is, but we'll have to finish this some other time." I interrupted, fluttering my eyelashes prettily.

With a smile, I ran past him to Tsunade's office, leaving a dazed but very happy Genma, standing in the hallway.

"She's like putty in my hands." Genma grinned obliviously and he continued on his way.

Breathing hard, I burst into Tsunade's office and slammed the door behind me. Safety measures of course, I wouldn't put anything past this guy.

"Genma giving you trouble again, Shizune?" She snickered behind, her huge, wooden desk and I frowned.

"How does she always manage to know everything that happens to me?" I wondered and Kabuto's face flickered across my eyes.

"She doesn't know about that though, she can't ever know about that." I thought fearful of what she would do if she found out.

"He won't leave me alone." I finally answered, grumbling under my breath and she shrugged.

"Give him a chance." She suggested, but I shook my head stubbornly.

"You know I'm not concerned about that kind of thing, Lady Tsunade." I replied as she sighed heavily.

"I know, Shizune." She whispered and I avoided her eyes that held so much meaning.

I knew how much she wished for me to have romance in my life, a beautiful one, even better than hers had been, but I wasn't willing to bend. Not under Tsunade or Genma or anyone. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't and so, I wouldn't and nothing would convince me otherwise.

The passed slowly, without any events or disturbances and I found my thoughts returning to Kabuto. Was he ok? Did he try to leave?

"If he tries anything, he will be caught and I will be labelled a traitor." I whispered to myself and my blood ran cold at the thought.

I tried not to give away my nervousness but Tsunade was smarter than that.

"Shizune, what's wrong? Are you upset about something?" She asked gently, while I was sorting files and I froze for a split second, my hands shaking.

"Just Genma, I hope he's gone home." I lied and Tsunade's eyes narrowed, studying mine but she didn't say anything more.

Finally, she dismissed me and I left with a friendly goodbye to her, like I usually did. Luckily, Genma was nowhere to be found, so, I was able to make my escape. As I walked home, my thoughts crowded each other in my mind and I realized I was afraid to see him again.

"Just tell him the truth. Tell him about your pathetic feelings, don't act the hero. Tell him you were an emotional coward who was too burdened with guilt to leave him there." A voice advised me and I winced at the harshness of it's words.

Still, I considered listening to it for once in my life.

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Kabuto:

Today, the clock seemed to take twice as long to turn and I was left alone in Shizune's room with nothing to do, but think and await her return. It was almost nauseating watching the clock turn from nine to ten and then finally to four.

I also had no idea if she would snap under guilt and tell that unusual Hokage everything. I had gotten up only once to go to the bathroom and that had left me gasping for air and wishing, more than ever, Shizune was back to help me, even if she was smug about it.

In my mind, I had decided it was probably best if I let go of whatever remaining pride I had left and cooperate. It seemed to make sense to do so, seeing as the last thing I wanted was for her to break under the pressure I was idiotically applying.

After hours of doing absolutely nothing and thinking I wouldn't be able to stand another minute of it, I heard the key turn in the front door and I figured if it was Tsunade or the Anbu squad, they would have just kicked the door in. Meaning, Shizune hadn't said anything.

Leaning forward, I completely ignored the pain and I managed to glimpse Shizune standing in the kitchen, her eyes shut as if summoning up her courage. A heavy feeling settled in my gut and I realized, I was starting to feel bad, something I hadn't done in years. As I saw her open her eyes, I leaned back down and she entered the room a minute later. As soon as she laid her eyes on me, relief flooded into her face and I was tempted to laugh aloud. She took a slow, tentative step towards me, our eyes locking and she calmly sat beside me, as she had done this morning.

"How was your day?" She asked gently and I shrugged.

"I'm glad you didn't try anything too stupid." Shizune admitted and I shrugged again.

"Too stupid? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked myself quietly, in slight annoyance.

Biting her lip nervously, she felt my forehead with a soft hand and murmured something under her breath.

"You seem to be okay. Well, for the most part, at least you don't have a fever. You just need to have many more days like this." She said, gesturing towards the bed I was in.

We sat in silence for almost ten minutes until I decided it was now or never to get on her good side.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I acted unnecessarily awful towards you and I just wanted to say I was sorry." I apologized with a smile and her shocked expression never left her face.

"Oh, it's fine. You had every…right to be awful towards…I mean, upset." She stammered and I bit my bottom lip, holding back a laugh.

"Are you asking to start over? Look I know, we aren't exactly…comrades, but I just hope you can…I don't know." She stammered, her dark eyes peering into mine, as if searching for some kind of catch.

"I understand, it's precisely what I was talking about." I said with another smile and this time, she returned mine with one of her own.

"Alright then." She agreed with a cheerful expression and we were quiet again.

There was nothing more for us to say at that point and I was surprised when I heard her voice.

"This morning, I was terrified you know." She admitted in a quiet voice and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You didn't look it, you seemed calm." I pointed out but she shook her head.

"Not on the inside." Shizune laughed and her bright face lit up the room.

I was starting to realize I could get used to being in her prescience. Perhaps, I would even come to enjoy it and despite my better judgement, I found myself hoping she felt the same way about me.

--

**Author's Note: **

**Okay, I just want to apologize for taking forever to post, and I mean forever. I do have an excuse though, my computer was acting up and I had to get it fixed and then, I ended up just getting a new one so...yeah. I really hope you like this chapter, it took a lot of creativity and chapter three is also finished. So, it should be posted soon, just have to type it all out. In case you were wondering, this fanfic isn't going to be a long one and it's starting to look like five chapters will be all of the chapters...but don't worry, much drama to come!! I post for reviews so, bad thoughts, good thoughts, I don't care, I just want to hear something!! Thank you!!**


	3. Chapter Three: Awakening Affections

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way whatsoever…

Perennial Love

Chapter Three: Awakening Affections

Shizune:

Ten days had passed since I had lost my mind and decided to help my worst enemies right hand man and honestly, if given the chance to start over, to do it all again, I knew my decision would stay the same. I had to admit, in my mind only, that Kabuto wasn't as awful when he was alone and away from that snake, or perhaps I was just falling for his clever disguise. He laughed and smiled and he even started listening to me, which definitely made things easier. Of course, we still argued, but things were a lot better now and I thanked the heavens for it. His wounds were getting better as well, he was still weak and kind of helpless but he was continuing to show steady improvement.

As far as Tsunade was concerned, she hadn't been in the best of moods and I was a little worried about that. I hoped it was only too much sake gone to her nerves. Just today, she had studied my face in silence until I happened to glance at her. Only then did she look away and I felt myself freeze up in fear.

"What if she found out? What if I was caught? What would she think? What would anyone think?"

I had played the terrifying scene over and over again in my head, especially while I slept. The nightmares were all the same. Tsunade confronting me, I denying it, Kabuto captured and killed and I, being labelled a traitor and banished from Konoha. Perhaps I would join Orochimaru or maybe I would just rot away in the forest. My dreams had never gotten that far and it was just as well. It really was, just as well.

Currently, I was on my way home through the forest, no sense changing my route just because I happened upon someone once.

"Tsunade only suspects something because your behaviour is that of a guilty person." I thought to myself and that was true.

My hands shook constantly, I couldn't look anyone besides Kabuto in the eye and my sleepless nights on the couch were clearly visible in the bags under my eyes.

Reaching my apartment, I shut off all nerve wracking thoughts and resolved to be friendly and forget about all the reasons our association was wrong.

Bursting in the door, I quickly shut it and brushed the forest dust off my slimming black kimono.

"Shizune?" I heard a voice from inside my bedroom and I smiled to myself before entering the room.

His hair was silky looking and barely reached his shoulders. His glasses carefully laid on the bedside table and his dark eyes shining. He was smiling slightly, a crooked half-smile and I couldn't help but he looked adorable.

"Like a lost puppy or something." I laughed silently to myself and I couldn't imagine how embarrassed I would be, if he ever found out about that comment.

"How was your day?" I asked him and I realized it had become a sort of tradition between us.

Walking over to the bed, he was propped up in, I sat down beside him and he shrugged.

"What about you?" He asked, almost reluctantly and I returned the shrug.

"Boring." I said and I inched closer to him, taking his arm in my lap to examine.

"The bone is really coming together nicely." I murmured, turning it over in my lap.

He gave me a pat on my knee, taking his arm back and I grabbed it, placing it back in my lap. He hated it when I examined him, but the fact of the matter was, it had to be done.

"Are you almost finished?" He asked, looking down at me, his face unbelievably close to mine and I turned away before he could see the red haze of embarrassment settle on my cheeks.

"Yes." I sniffed, prodding his arm while he winced.

"I'm sorry but I need to see if it's healing properly, you should know that, aren't you a medic?" I asked and he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He muttered and I knew I had won.

I glanced back up at him and an odd look came across his face.

"Why do you always give me that look whenever I'm near you?" I demanded to know and he sighed.

"It's nothing." He muttered but I squeezed his hand.

"No, it's not nothing, please, you can tell me. Am I doing something wrong?" I asked with a nervous expression and he let out a small chuckle.

"No, it's not you. It's just, you smell like a flower I used to know." Kabuto said and my eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh, what flower?" I asked him curiously and he took his arm back again.

Deciding I cared more about what he had to say and less about poking his sore arm, I let him keep it.

"Lilies, my mother used to grow them." He explained and the thought of Kabuto having parents was too much.

I guess I had always just assumed that he was evil from the core and had always been that way, but that really wasn't the case. He had been a child and he had had parents, and despite thinking about it all, I was still surprised.

He saw my look of wonder and he smiled in amusement.

"Yes, I did have parents, things just happened…" He trailed off, the smile disappearing from his lips and I stared at him, biting my lip.

"What happened?" I asked and he glanced down at me with a slight look of annoyance.

I wanted to know more than ever. When we were alone like this, he was beyond polite, beyond kind, beyond everything I had ever thought about him and I didn't understand how a person so great, could work for such a monster.

"I'm sorry, I'm being nosy." I apologized, looking away but I felt him nudge my arm gently.

"It's fine, Shizune. I was raised in Konoha by the chief medical officer from the Konoha Medical Squad, he found me when I was younger, after my real parents died. I guess I met Orochimaru because I started spying for different organizations when I was in my teens. I guess it was my own secretive way at lashing out at my adopted father. I feel like I've been a spy my entire life." He sighed and I couldn't help but feel bad.

"Was your real mother the one with the lilies?" I asked curiously and he nodded.

"I don't remember what happened to her or my father, I just remember those flowers that my mother would plant, isn't that funny?" He whispered and my pity for him rose.

He didn't even know his own parents, not well enough to remember their faces or what they liked to do.

"That's horrible, it sounds like he used to be really close to his mother, all those precious memories lost." I thought to myself and I wanted to know more about him.

I wanted to know everything but even though I longed to know, I decided I wouldn't press him any further.

"You smell just like those lilies." He smiled and he leaned his forehead against my shoulder.

"So, I remind you of your mother?" I laughed and he nodded against me.

"You both took care of me and you're both beautiful." He mumbled into my kimono and I blushed heavily at his words, suddenly feeling flustered.

"Are you done?" I questioned loudly and he shook his head.

"You smell wonderful." He murmured and I gently shook him off me, my cheeks burning.

He stared down at me, a funny expression on his face and I tried to understand what he was thinking. Whenever he looked at me, he always seemed to be contemplating something in his head.

"This is so strange." He laughed and I struggled to understand what he meant.

"What do you mean?" I wondered aloud and he gestured towards me.

"You, me, being civil with each other." He answered and I had to agree with him.

"I just feel so different around you, like I can open up to you…I don't know." He trailed off and I knew I wouldn't get anything more out of him.

"Well, I'm glad you can trust m-" A loud pounding on the door interrupted me and we stared at each other in silent terror.

My thoughts circled around Tsunade and I couldn't speak, my mouth automatically clamped shut. Hands shaking, I stood up and he shot me a look of desperation. Returning his expression, I had no choice but to answer the door. I couldn't stop shaking, my insides screaming in fear and I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply. Opening the door, my expression went from terrified to shocked.

"Oh Shizune, what a beautiful kimono, how are you?" Genma asked me politely as he pushed his way into my apartment and I couldn't speak.

"Shizune, I missed you today, I didn't want see you." He continued and my confusion was quickly replaced with rage.

"Yeah, I'm…um…fine but what are you doing here?" I stammered and he smiled.

"I'm here to see you of course. Who else would I rather spend the evening with?" He answered and I felt like slapping him in the face.

"This is just unexpected and I'm kind of busy." I mumbled but he just laughed.

"Shizune, you are up here all alone, you need some company sometimes. How does dinner sound?" Genma proposed and I couldn't express my feelings of anger towards him.

"I'm sorry Genma, I'm afraid I'm just too busy." I said through gritted teeth and I attempted to herd him towards the door.

Ignoring my efforts, Genma walked over to my couch and had the nerve to sit down, patting the seat beside him.

--

Kabuto:

I had to hand it to this guy, he sure was persistent and I felt sorry for Shizune. It had been an hour since he'd first shown up at her door and she still hadn't gotten rid of him. I found it all rather amusing as I listened through the closed bedroom door and I managed to gather that her suitors name was Genma and that he worked with her. I didn't mind that he was here, in fact I was rather relieved. Things were happening between Shizune, I could tell and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

I liked her, I liked her a lot and that was what was bothering me so much. Never before had I even remotely liked anyone in this way and I was worried. Maybe it would have been better if I had continued to be rude to her. I was starting to get attached and that was bad. I knew I couldn't stay here forever but I was starting to think that she didn't.

Listening again, Shizune sounded like she was about to blow a fuse, while he was calm and smooth, or so he thought.

"Please Genma, I'm really tired." I heard Shizune whine and a deep chuckle sounded from Genma.

"Shizune, what you need to do is come to dinner with me, it will do you good. I just know these things." He finished and I could almost imagine his cheesy grin through the closed door.

That's when I heard the explosion.

"You know what Genma? Don't tell me what I need, don't tell me what will do me good. What I need is for you to get out." Shizune yelled and my eyes widened in shocked wonder.

It took all of my being not to laugh and run to congratulate her. Well, maybe not run but limp to congratulate her anyways. It was dead silent until Shizune started to yell again and I could hear the emotion in her voice.

"I'm sick of you. If you don't understand, let me make it loud and clear. I have no desire to go anywhere with you, ever. Obviously our feelings towards each other are very different. This is all my life is, trying to get rid of men like you. Just leave me alone. That's all I'm asking, I just want to be alone." She abruptly fell silent and my mouth hung open in complete disbelief.

"Shizune?" Genma called gently, but I heard a shove and the door slammed a second later.

A couple minutes passed until my door opened and a red-faced, teary-eyed Shizune entered.

"All I want is to be alone." She whispered and I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Why don't thy get it?" She asked me desperately and I shrugged.

Slowly, she walked towards me and sat down, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I couldn't look at her, her huge black eyes peered into mine, looking for some words of comfort but I had nothing for her. I didn't know what to say and she turned away from me, disappointed. Once again, that feeling of pity washed over me and I wanted to wipe away her tears. I wanted more than anything to help her, to comfort her.

Nervous as to how she would react, I tentatively held out my arms and she fell silent, staring at me with wide eyes. Shizune smiled slightly and she collapsed into my arms with a sob. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her tightly, pulling her close to me and I buried my face in her hair, inhaling the sweet smell of lilies.

She squeezed herself against me and her arms were wrapped firmly around my neck. I had no intention of ever letting her go, I was sure of that. Her tears were dampening my shirt but I didn't care. Her hair was soft against my skin and I kissed the side of her head before burying my face back into her wonderful-smelling hair. She seemed to feel my kiss and her arms tightened around my neck.

"Kabuto." She whispered against me and I kissed her hair again.

She was leaning against my sore ribs but I pulled her closer, ignoring the pain, she was the only thing on my mind.

After what seemed like forever, her sobs stopped and the room fell silent. Loosening my grip, I examined her, discovering she was asleep and with a smile, I detangled her from myself, laying her down beside me. She looked peaceful and I couldn't restrain myself from stroking her cheek, her skin soft and smooth.

"What am I doing?" I asked myself in horror.

"I can't…I shouldn't be…no, this can't be happening, of all the things." I argued with myself and I didn't dare say what I was thinking.

"How could I feel something for Shizune, of all the people, there was absolutely no way, but there was no sense denying the truth now."

--

Shizune:

It was dark out when I opened my eyes and I was surprised to see Kabuto's face lying less than three inches from mine, his eyes watching me.

"Oh." I gasped, but I still didn't move my face and he smiled.

"Are you alright now?" He asked me and I nodded.

I remembered my angry words at Genma and not one bit of me felt sorry, not one bit felt bad.

"He really did deserve that." Kabuto laughed, as if reading my mind and I returned his smile.

"He won't leave me alone at work either." I said and Kabuto smiled again, the crooked half smile that I loved with all my hear.

"He will now." He said and I nodded, agreeing happily.

"You're probably right."

Suddenly, I remembered our heartfelt embrace and I started to feel embarrassed, my cheeks turning red. All I remembered clearly was crying into Kabuto's chest, I didn't remember ever lying down or falling asleep.

"I must have fallen asleep on him." I realized and my cheeks got even redder.

Kabuto noticed the change in my expression and his brows furrowed in confusion.

"What is it?" He asked and I avoided his eyes.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I was really upset and it was dumb." I mumbled but he just laughed and reached his hand up to tuck a piece of stray hair behind my ear, his hand stroking my cheek.

My skin burned where his hand had touched my face and I decided I wanted it back. Reaching for his hand, I returned it back to my cheek and he smiled gently. We laid there for a while in silence and I think we were both attempting to sort out our feelings for each other.

"Whatever I was feeling, I thought in horror, I never want it to stop."

I knew right there that my oath to myself was broken, but honestly, as I stared up into Kabuto's dark eyes and felt his cool palm on my burning cheek, I couldn't have cared less.

--

**Author's note:**

**I'm really sorry about being late. I could say it was because of school and exams and whatnot but the main factor was probably laziness. The next chapter is finished and will DEFINATELY be up soon. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always wonderful surprises. XD**


	4. Chapter Four: Quarelling Certainty

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

Perennial Love

Chapter Four: Quarrelling Certainty

Shizune:

Yawning, I rubbed my eyes as sunlight illuminated the tightly closed curtains and I rolled over, away from the light. Pulling the comforter up higher, I rested my cheek on Kabuto's limp hand and his face twitched in his sleep. Smiling softly, I kissed his hand and my eyes travelled up his arm to his face. He had a gentle calmness that I lost myself in when I looked at him, his silver hair strewn across the pillow. There was just something about Kabuto that awakened my affections and I reflected often on the times our paths had crossed, the look of hatred as he dodged my poison mist, the satisfied smirk when his kunai grazed me. Our lethal fights, while we truly intended to kill one another. Kabuto and I were only growing closer, and though there was doubt, I was positive if time would allow it, I would grow to love him more deeply than I'd loved anyone.

His wounds were nearly healed and aside from the sensitive spots where his rib bones were still fusing together, he was almost completely restored to his full health.

"Kabuto? Are you awake?" I whispered, poking his cheek and he swatted me away.

"No," he grumbled, his eyes still closed and I frowned.

"I think you are," I smiled and I wiggled a finger into the crevice of his neck.

Kabuto let out a small laugh, squirming away from me and I realized I was on to something. Poking him again, I tickled his neck with more vigour and he burst into laughter, unearthing his hand from under my cheek.

"Look what I've discovered, the invincible Kabuto is ticklish," I said smugly and slowly, his dark eyes opened.

"You haven't discovered anything. Please, my ribs are killing me. Now, what is it?" he yawned, glancing down at me with a sly smile.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him innocently and he stroked the top of my head as if I were a small pet.

"Nearly pain free, thanks to you," he murmured, all traces of annoyance disappearing and his gaze locked onto mine. "I see you're still in those cute little Cotten pyjamas," he stated, looking me up and down and I pulled the blankets up over my head, embarrassed.

"How's your dear friend, Genma?" he asked, his face suddenly breaking out into a grin and I smirked, pulling the covers down again.

Sitting up, I passed him his glasses and stretched my arms above my head before collapsing beside him on the bed.

"He's great," I replied, containing my laughter and he stroked my hair again, his fingers combing the brunette strands.

Exactly four days had passed since Genma had been literally thrown out of my house and in my opinion, things were much better considering he started avoiding me like the plague. The following day when I had arrived at work, he was chatting with Kotetsu and Izumo in the hallway and he grimaced when he saw me approaching.

"She's crazy," I heard him whisper to the confused men and I had to stop myself from jumping up and down like a fiend.

My situation with Kabuto however, was difficult to define and I still didn't if we were friends, enemies or something more. He was everything I had ever wanted in a companion. Handsome, kind, with a great sense of humour. Was that why Orochimaru found him so useful? Was that why he made such a good spy? Such a good imposter? I just couldn't understand how someone who was so gentle, so understanding, could support that disgusting creature. Unless his entire personality truly was a lie, but something inside of me knew this couldn't be the case or begged it not to be. I wanted to ask him, I wanted to know, why he would choose such a life but, what would it possibly accomplish?

"Shizune, what's the matter? What are you thinking about?" Kabuto asked, noticing my faraway expression and I jumped suddenly.

"It's nothing, I lied and his brows furrowed.

"Shizune..." He trailed off, doubting my honesty and I cursed inwardly. Lying had never been my strong suit and it clearly still needed work.

"Well, I just...why Orochimaru?" I whispered and I wanted to kick myself for sounding so weak. Kabuto's expression didn't change, as if he had been waiting for me to ask this question for some time, but he swallowed hard.

"It's hard to understand," he said and I ignored his aggressive tone. It was quick and snappy, like he was trying to intimidate me off the subject, but I wasn't budging. I deserved at the very least to know, I needed answers, even if they weren't the ones I wanted to hear.

"Why?" I repeated stiffly and Kabuto sighed, giving in.

"He's a great man," he stated and I frowned, feeling a nauseous, disgusted feeling settle in the pit of my being.

"Great? He deserves to die, Kabuto. Do you have any idea how much blood is on his hands?" I yelled, but Kabuto didn't appear shaken in the least.

"Who would know better than I? It doesn't make him any less great. You don't understand what kind of person he is,"

"You're wrong, I know exactly what kind of person he is. He's despicable, lower than dirt," I interrupted and he smiled sadly at me.

"That's not it, Shizune," he answered and I glared up at him, arms crossed against my loose t-shirt. "My association with Orochimaru is far more complicated than you would think. It isn't simply for the power or importance, its difficult to explain and I'm not sure you want the truth," Kabuto said, his black eyes peering into mine, searching for anything.

I needed to know who Kabuto really was, I just wanted to hear something.

"Please, I deserve to know," I replied simply and he sat up, his face giving away his uneasiness.

"When I was a reckless teen, spying for numerous people, Orochimaru seemed like a man I could rely on, but he was more than that. He was honest to me, he spoke to me like an equal and I was intrigued by the incredible amount of potential power he held. He took me under his wing and I served him to the best of my ability. We built a binding trust," he said and I looked away, sitting up.

Could Orochimaru really mean something to him? I knew he was persuasive, but honesty was not an attribute I would put under his name.

"We supported each other, protected each other. Even now it's still the same. I don't see him the same way you do, I see all of him, you only see half. I know he's power hungry and I know he's evil but honestly, how can you say I'm any different?" Kabuto asked and I paled, my hands beginning to tremble.

"Don't say that," I whispered hoarsely and Kabuto smiled at me again.

"Why not? I'm not a good person. Shizune, you know this. I've done some horrible things, killed innocent people and for what? When you see so much death and take many lives, it begins to mean nothing. I'm a manipulator, it's what I'm best at," Kabuto laughed bitterly.

"No," I said, shaking my head fiercely, "I don't believe it," Kabuto rolled his eyes and reached for my hand.

"Don't," I hissed, snatching my it away and I climbed out of the bed, pacing at the foot.

I had been hiding from this truth four two weeks now. I knew he was all of those things and much more, but my heart ached from hearing it spoken aloud. Was he tricking me with his seemingly pure intentions so that I wouldn't turn him into Tsunade? Did I mean anything to him? The questions pained me more than any wound I had received and my eyes filled with tears. The truth always hurt, but this was unbearable.

"Shizune, you knew this already," Kabuto protested softly and I wiped my eyes with the back of hand, embarrassed.

"I know, okay? I just hate hearing it," I shouted back, still pacing and I ran a hand through my hair.

Kabuto threw the covers off and sat cross legged on the bed, blue cotton pants, rumpled from sleep. He tucked a strand of silver hair behind his ear and I caught his guilty expression.

"What is it?" I asked, stopping suddenly and he opened his mouth to speak, closing it again almost instantly, as though the words had escaped him.

"Will you sit with me?" he asked gently holding out his hand and shooting him a look, I reluctantly placed my hand in his.

Sitting down beside him, I dropped his hand, sensing his grave news and dangled my legs over the side of the bed. He looked hurt as I turned partially away from him, but he must have been satisfied with my current position because he opened his mouth to continue.

"Shizune, please don't be angry with me. We both knew this was coming," he started. "I've already stayed here longer than I should have. I'm nearly healed and I think very soon I should go," Kabuto looked over at me, his face conveying worry and I didn't respond.

"It's not that I wish to leave, you must know this," he continued and I scoffed at him, my anger hiding the overwhelming rush of pain.

"You're going back to him, aren't you?" I spat out my words like venom and he sighed heavily.

"I have no choice. As long as I'm alive, he'll continue to search for me. There is no escape but death, from what I've signed myself up for,"

"I just thought you'd want something different for yourself. If you want something bad enough, any dream is possible. I thought we-" I cut myself off, willing my tears not to fall and I felt like a fool.

Kabuto was right, I had been avoiding this for days now, but he couldn't just leave me, he wouldn't. Of all the people, I had to fall for him. After saving myself the trouble, after all these years, I had to fall this low, falter in my hardened ways for even a second and that's all it was. A second of weakness and he had been there, his arms open to care for me as I had cared for him. What was I doing? Could I have embraced a worse person? Had I not learned the hard way and watched first hand, the sufferings of Tsunade after Dan had been killed? Kabuto could never truly love me, there would never be a safe place for us. He could stay here and die by the hands of the Anbu or he could return to Orochimaru and continue to serve him. Living out his days by the snake's side, his eyes downcast as he thought on the nights without me and eventually dying in battle to a ninja with greater skill than his own.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, my thoughts returning to the impossible. A safe place, where we could love without the rain of reality pouring down upon us. Kabuto, his glasses shining in the sunlight, hand in mine, looking forward to another day.

"We never had a fighting chance, Shizune. This couldn't be, it just...isn't possible. No matter hard I wish for it," Kabuto's shaky voice cut through me thoughts like a knife and I stared at him with a new fury.

"You wish for it? Your tricks are pathetic. You did this on purpose, you made me...made me..."

"Made you what?"

"Made me want something better! You gave me hope for the future, you made a fool out of me," I shouted, my face flushed with anger and I knew my sharpened words were aimed equally at myself.

"Go then, if that's what you truly want! Call Tsunade here, call the Anbu! Cut me down," he yelled angrily, the hurt cracking his voice and a look of horror crossed my face.

"I could never...I couldn't," I knew the inevitable onslaught of tears were fast approaching and I stood up, removing myself from his view.

Slamming the door behind me, I balked at the idea of Kabuto witnessing any more of my tears, my weakness. Standing in the living room, I buried my face in my hands, sobbing as quietly as I could. If I could allow myself this release now, I would be stronger for it later.

Strong arms enveloped me from behind and I gasped in surprise, my eyes shooting open. I hadn't even heard the door open, I was so lost in my own foolishness. I could feel his breath on my ear, his heartbeat quickening behind me, arms tightening and silver hair spilled over my shoulder.

"Shizune...please, don't cry alone," he whispered, his voice strangled.

Turning me around in his arms, he held me close, his dark eyes shining behind the thin lens and they never left my face. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on mine and I closed my eyes, taking in his comfort.

"Kabuto..." I whispered but, he stopped me with a finger on my lips and I felt my cheeks flush red in embarrassment.

"Just let me hold you," he said softly, and there was a sadness in his voice that made me wrap my arms around his waist and pull him closer.

I wanted to comfort him, to hold him close, until our situation didn't seem so hopeless. His body shook slightly against mine and I could feel his nervousness. Bringing his hands up, he gripped my face in his hands and brought my lips to his, stopping when I was only a breath away. I felt like putty in his hands and when I didn't protest, he pulled me closer. Closing my eyes, I felt a soft pressure on my lips and a burning sensation spread across my body like wildfire. His mouth was gentle against mine, but his hands held my face tightly, as though afraid I would pull away in disgust at any moment. His breath was sweet and I wrapped my fingers in his long silver hair, relishing in the silkiness of it. Breaking away too soon, he brought his lips to my ear, dropping his arms around my waist and I felt his breathing quicken.

"I'm sorry Shizune. I-I don't want to leave you, please know that," he murmured, his voice trembling and I held back tears of relief.

I knew this didn't change anything, I knew his impending departure was inevitable but, the idea of our relationship being a lie was too much. He wanted me to know that he felt something for me, that he truly hated returning to that putrid creature.

"When I'm around you, I feel like I've been given a second chance. I feel something other than anger for the first time in a long time. I can't stop thinking about you," Kabuto said and my blood froze.

Tilting my face towards his, I eyed him in shock, but his expression never faltered and I bit my lip nervously.

"In another life, I'll find you," Tear brimmed lashes fluttered closed and I smiled, my head against his pounding chest.

Tsunade:

The sun was to set in only a few short hours and I sighed wearily. Playful shadows danced across bare walls and I continued scrawling my signature on endless paperwork for who even knew what. The life of a hokage was not nearly as exciting one would think it was. Glancing over at Shizune, who appeared to be doodling quietly, I held in another disappointed sigh. Dismissing her with a wave of my hand, she calmly gathered her belongings and exited with a contained grin.

"Have a good evening," Shizune bowed enthusiastically and I mustered a halfhearted smile and a nod of my head.

There was no nagging, no protesting and it had been that way for some time, approximately two weeks now to be precise. To think I hadn't noticed, as she clearly did, was beyond foolish. Had I not raised her? Taken her in as my apprentice after Dan...? My thoughts cut off there, I couldn't think about Dan, not today, not after what was happening with his niece.

It hadn't taken very long for me to discover she was hiding something. Her hands constantly shaking, her teeth clenched in worry and her need to leave as early as possible were all strong indicators. At first it seemed as though her guilt would break her small body. She was constantly forgetful, her mind elsewhere as a forgotten Tonton paced at the office alone all night. It wasn't just the Tonton incident either, in her state of anxiety she had misplaced numerous items, including a file folder filled with building permits and my new pen. I had wanted to say something, ask her if everything was alright and I had, only to be assured everything was just fine and that she was only tired. As if that were even close to the truth.

Recently however, though still eager to leave as soon as she could without "arousing suspicions", her skin had a new glow, a renewed life present in the flush of her cheeks. Dark eyes, seemingly alive for the first time, she hummed under her breath like a girl in love. Love. If it had been any other woman, that is what I would have pegged as immediately, demanding the name of the lucky man. But Shizune? Although I had pushed for it with many eligible men, most notably Genma whom I had told shameless lies of her love for him, she had always explicitly stated that she wasn't interested. It appeared now, however, that love had found her, though she wasn't looking. Still, her guilt had been unexplained and I was determined to weasel the truth out of her, one way or another.

Flipping a blonde pigtail over my shoulder, my eyes narrowed dangerously, recalling yesterday afternoon. Her strange behaviour had revealed itself, much faster than I expected it to, with Shizune herself admitting the truth. My first reaction was doubt, but as she continued to speak, I had look away in both rage and betrayal.

While ranking a large list of missions that had just come in, Shizune had fallen asleep and after a quick sip of sake, I went to wake her. It seemed like a shame, her face so serene, but though I hated to admit it, with Shizune leaving early so often, less work was being accomplished and the piles of paper on my desk had climbed to monstrous heights. Placing a hand on her shoulder, Shizune stirred and breathed in deeply through her nose.

"Don't go," she murmured breathlessly and I stared down at her in amusement, allowing her to carry on.

"Don't go...I'm-" she turned her face away from me and I listened intently.

"I love..." Shizune whispered, piquing my interest and I rubbed my palms together, a devilish grin forming on my face.

So Shizune had found a man after all? How delicious of a topic to tease her mercilessly on. A wonderful feeling surged through me and I struggled to contain my joy. It all made sense to me now and I moved to wake her.

"Kabu...to," she finished and chills ran down my back.

I would recognize that name and the man behind it anywhere. Freezing, the sequence of events that had occurred clicked in my head and I gasped aloud. Her guilt, her anxious behaviour with the incredible turn around. How she smiled all the time, was eager to return home and blushed when left alone with her thoughts, staring dreamily off into space. It could have just been a dream, a rare coincidence, Shizune would never betray me so utterly. Would she? Something in my gut told me to trust my instincts and I wanted to kick myself. How could I let something like this occur right under my nose?

"No," I decided fiercely, my temper flaring, this was her problem, her fault. I couldn't protect her from what she'd so foolishly done.

Closing my eyes, I returned from the memory and gritted my teeth hard. As to why I had yet to act, I wanted to be absolutely certain. Even if the time did come where I was, I had no idea as to how I should deal with it, Shizune's happiness weighing heavily on my mind. She was a changed woman, focusing for once, on her own dreams and desires. How I could I break her now, if what I suspected was truly occurring and Kabuto did indeed dwell in her heart. Had he seduced her when her guard was down? Had he been hurt and seemingly helpless? How other way was there for her to be fooled into love with a man known for his trickery, let alone invite him into her home or wherever he was lurking. Although, that would be the safest place for him, especially if he was vulnerable from an injury. If he was spotted anywhere near the village, the Anbu squad would be called and he would be killed instantly. Pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration, I had to hear the truth before condemning them. I needed answers and I decided to corner Shizune tomorrow.

"Let her have tonight," I said to myself, continuing on with my paperwork.

Kabuto:

I heard every tick of the clock fastened to the wall behind me, as I attempted, fruitlessly to read the novel in front of me. My fingers fidgeted with the thin pages and I placed the book down, running a stressed hand through my hair. I couldn't get her out of my head, her voice, her laughter, her tears. The image of her smile resonated in my mind and those beautiful, hardened eyes, black as night. What had I gotten myself into? Things were so messy when emotions were involved and I promised myself many years ago that I wouldn't feel the useless things I now felt. Footsteps from down the hall and keys jingling in the lock, Shizune was home. I perked up without realizing, then scolded myself. Grabbing the novel, I quickly pretended to be engrossed, her entrance casual.

"Why are you reading that trashy thing?" Shizune asked, locking the door and she set a bag of what appeared to be clothing on the apartment floor.

"I was bored in here," I replied truthfully, "I'm getting a bit restless, to be honest,"

Shizune smiled brightly at me and reached for the bag she had dropped. Pulling out a Konaha jounin jacket, she held it up for me to see and I raised an eyebrow.

"What is that and why are you holding it like I'm going to be wearing it?" I asked with a smirk and she placed her hands on her hips, scowling in annoyance.

"Don't be that way. Your clothing was ruined and you've been lounging around in pajamas for days now. I thought maybe we could go out tonight," she suggested hesitantly. "I have pants too," she grinned, pulling them out of the bag.

"I can't-" I started, but she cut off me off.

"We can, just not into town. I thought we could have dinner in the forest. You know, before you go," she said, her eyes to the floor and my guilt came flooding back.

"You are leaving soon, aren't you?"

"Yes, I was thinking perhaps tomorrow. I'm sorry," I added, my words sounding cold and distant when said aloud.

"I figured," she confirmed softly and put the clothing on the coffee table in front of me. "Will you come?" She asked, peering down at me with those eyes and although, I didn't feel it was wide, I nodded, my head acting on its own.

Plopping down on the couch beside me, Shizune watched me silently and I returned her stare. We were past words, I knew she wanted me to stay with her and had this been different, I would have. However, we both knew there was no life for us in Konaha and it was all we could do to hold on to our emotions. Standing up, I grabbed the pile of clothing.

"It's getting dark, shouldn't we go?" I asked, but she shook her head.

"Dark is probably best,"

Shizune:

He ran beside me as we disappeared into the darkness of the forest, packed bento dinners in his arms. Silver hair tied back into a low ponytail flying behind him, I noticed it was longer than usual and I liked it. He glanced over at me, smirking when he noticed me staring and I looked away in embarrassment. My mind allowed me to pretend we were both ninjas of Konaha, his jacket rippling in the wind. Perhaps returning from a mission Tsunade had sent on or out for own enjoyment as we were. Lovers or friends, but together nonetheless, not torn apart by lines of loyalty. Kabuto stopped suddenly, his feet skidding on the dirt floor and I stopped with him, breathing hard.

"Are we far enough?" I asked and he shrugged.

We had been running for the last twenty five minutes or so and I looked around. Except for the light of the moon, it was pitch black, the sounds of forest echoing back at me. Laying out the large picnic blanket I had been carrying, I sat down, digging out three small tea light candles and a pack of matches from my pocket. As I lit them, Kabuto unpacked our dinners and passed me a pair of chopsticks.

"It feels good to run again, to be outside," he inhaled the sweet air and dug into my homemade dinner, something he never failed to enjoy. "This is delicious," he said, through a mouthful of avocado and my face felt hot.

"Thank you," I mumbled through my red cheeks and he laughed, noticing my discomfort.

We ate the remainder of the meal in silence, our faces illuminated by the flickering candlelight. Putting down his chopsticks, Kabuto cleared his throat .

"Have you considered leaving with me?" he asked cautiously and I stared at him in surprise.

"Out of the question," I snapped and he shrugged. "I could never betray Tsunade like that," I said coldly and he put a hand on mine.

"I know, I'm sorry. I felt I should voice all options," he said quietly and I knew his intentions were good.

"Can we not discuss any of this now? I just want to be with you," I pleaded desperately and he pulled me down onto the blanket with him.

Staring up at the stars, we laid side by side, my head leaning in the crook of his shoulder. I played with his hands and fingers, bringing them to my lips. Kissing each of his fingertips, he didn't react, only stared up in silence, deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, cradling his hand against my cheek and I couldn't help but be a little proud of my bold behaviour.

"When we're apart, stare up at the stars and remember this night. I promise I'll be doing the same, no matter where I am," he whispered and I came up on my elbow to face him.

"Don't think about that. It doesn't-" I started but he cut me off and flipped me onto my back, his body on top of mine.

Taking off his glasses, he placed them on the forest floor softly and our eyes locked, a sharp glint of sadness in his. Opening my mouth to speak, my words were muffled by his lips pressed hard against my own. Reluctantly, the hot feeling of my face burning up coming back, I kissed him back, my body trapped under his weight. Stroking my face, he kissed me passionately and I began to return his feelings with as much energy as I could muster. Loosening his ponytail, my fingers eagerly ran themselves through his silky chrome-coloured hair. Tossing the useless elastic band aside, his hair spilled over his shoulders and he kissed me harder, his lips mashing against mine almost painfully. Something wet dripped onto my cheeks and I realized he was crying, his body trembling slightly. Pulling away, I rubbed his tear-streaked face dry with my thumbs, he sat up away from me, embarrassed. Touching his arm lightly, I tried to comfort him but, he pulled away.

"What's wrong? Kabuto?" I asked softly and he didn't look at me.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't think of anything but my departure. I know you wanted tonight for us, but its just so-" his voice broke sounded strangled and small, so much hurt reflected. Lifting his chin, I smiled through tears of my own.

"Please, don't cry alone," I whispered and he turned to me, smiling at me through his damp eyes.

Pulling me to him, he embraced me fully, clutching the shoulders of my kimono.

"Why do you have to be so damn good?" he asked, laughing through his mourning and I squeezed him tightly.

"Why do you have to be so damn evil?" I quipped back and we laughed together, holding each other until it felt like we might become one.

Kabuto:

We stumbled in the dark through the open door of the balcony together, Shizune closing it with a bang and I threw the blanket and empty containers onto the ground. I walked forward, feeling my away around and cursed loudly, my shin throbbing painfully.

"Damn useless coffee table," I half shouted and Shizune giggled somewhere behind me.

Making my way into the utter darkness of the bedroom, I collapsed onto the bed, squirming out of the Konaha jacket. Kicking my shoes off sloppily, Shizune flung open one of the curtains,the light of the moon streaming over her face. Turning to face me, her outline illuminated, she slowly undid the binding of her kimono. Opening slightly, I could only lay there on my back in shock as she crawled onto the bed towards me silently. She was a woman transformed, the newfound confidence she now possessed overwhelming. Her face breathtaking, I met her lips and I could tell she was still a little uncomfortable despite her sudden confidence.

"Don't be embarassed, you're beautiful," I whispered in her ear and I could feel her smile, biting my lip playfully.

"You don't have to-" I started, but she smothered my voice with her graceful mouth, kissing me hard.

"Please, can't we have tonight? I don't want to have any regrets when this is over," she finished, placing my hand on her bare shoulder, the kimono slipping further down and my heartbeat sped up.

"I'm not a regret?" I asked curiously and she laid her head on my chest.

"Hardly. You're the kind of man I used to dream about,"

"Your idea of romance must be very skewed," I laughed and she smacked my arm.

"Shut up and kiss me before I get smart and kill you," she stated blankly and I eagerly complied.

**Author's Note: **

I'm back! I know…I'm sorry, there are no words…but, the important thing is I'm back and will continue to be back forever! Or a very long time…I don't even know if you guys are still waiting, it's been so long '^^

But, I'm still going to finish this as well as my other story and possible write more stories very soon! I really do apologize for this four year hiatus. I kind of fell out of anime and wouldn't you know it, Inuyasha lured me back in and once I remembered the good times…it was all over. I'll never leave you again anime! T.T

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